The long awaited return for David Cronenberg back to the world of body horror comes now with Crimes of the Future, taking one of his previous titles in words only and crafting a whole new futuristic world where three things are key; surgery is the new sex, performance art is the chief art-form above all else and humans have evolved to no longer feel pain. Now does that or does that not sound like the perfect mould for Cronenberg to return to his roots of viscera on film? Well, that is indeed how it sounds, but it is with regret that for the film overall felt like an empty shell. An array of great ideas used as a background for what we hope will be a narrative thrust, however by the time we realise that there will be no such through line, we realise that the background we have been watching has been the gist of the film all along. ‘Empty’ sounds strong, but after watching the film, one can’t help but feel that it’s the perfect word to use, and such a terribly disappointing one to resort to too may I add.

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Cronenberg returns not only to body horror here, but also to a full auteurship, with credits as both writer and director. His screenplay here and direction however both seem to have the same problem, an overall lack of pace and variety. In regards to the screenplay, once Cronenberg has set up his three bizzaro world future conceits, there is an overall pattern of scenes occurring between two people discussing elements of things we already know, with little fresh illumination upon the subjects. This paired with the same issue occurring with the directing, that of a visual blandness, it feels like everything was shot in a few rooms and even the outside stuff has a shocking sameness to it all, ultimately leads to the film feeling as dull and empty as it does. Same cinematography, same costumes, same stilted dialogue scene to scene, with a few notable exceptions, not notable for quality, just notable for being somewhat different. It all leads to a terrible dullness to the affair, which is in many ways insane when you’re describing a film that features concepts of sexual surgery as dull. Perhaps it is in this dullness and mundanity that we find what Cronenberg is going for; is this all intentionally dull to show how sanitised and desensitised this world has grown to acts of violence and human mutilation? But the scary thing is that for such a consistent sure-handed director, you never feel with Crimes of the Future that same sure-hand is present and so questions of intent are not as easy to quash, answer or interrogate.

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Perhaps all this feels so much more apparent because so many classic Cronenberg elements are there, with the sumptuous Howard Shore score, aswell as the genuinely brilliant combination of practical and CGI effects, but again it is with regret I feel it all services nothing. Performance wise the film too boasts many great actors doing great work, ranging from Viggo Mortensen working once more with Cronenberg in one of his most subtle and unsettlingly quiet turns in his career, constantly shifting with an intense physical pain that is all presented with finesse and a believability, no matter what we are being told to believe. From Motensen to Kirstin Stewart, the sure-fire standout for the film with a performance so off-kilter and so perfectly weirdly pitched that it makes certain other turns in the film seem lacking in comparison. It’s not that they’re lacking, as in they are wholly bad, just simply instead that they lack a freshness and exciting quality that makes every scene Stewart is in as entertaining and arresting as they are. In the end if everything was as exciting, unnerving, and entertaining as Stewart in this film, then this would be a rave, but as I have certainly already illuminated, that is regrettably far from the case for this humble critic. It’s original and it’s fresh, but for a film that is so concerned with flesh, the film is shockingly un-fleshed out.

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Ultimately a pretty dull 6/10, Cronenberg has so many of his previous successes here on display, when it comes to interesting sci-fi dialogue, perverse and provocative visuals and concepts, and a selection of sterling acute performances – however it is all here in service of very little in my eyes. The story came to nothing and the overall pace was slow, and not in a languid building of tension fashion like many other Cronenberg features have, because as we realise as the running time draws to a close, this film has been building to nothing. A film without a third act that overall can’t help but feel disappointing with the potential at its core.

P.S. May the other two middle aged men on their own watching the new Cronenberg on opening day on a Saturday afternoon, have the best time in their lives. We all came for one thing, I didn’t get it, I wonder if they did.

-         - Thomas Carruthers