Now don’t get me wrong, this is still a 1/10 film, the sort of film that does make you wonder about how something like this could get released and have so very much money funnelled into it. However whether genuine or not or laughing with the film or not, and I did have a handful of genuine laughs with the film, I far enjoyed my time with this film more than Argylle – which I found truly insufferable, and far more than the majority of other superhero films I have forced myself to watch of recent. In the disaster of this and in the overall mess of this a lot more entertainment can be found than in The Marvels or Black Widow to name but two examples. Beyond that even I have to admit that a few gags in here genuinely worked for me and above all else Dakota Johnson remains one of the most interesting actresses working and has somehow managed to make this trainwreck something that will help her career rather than hinder.
Much has been said about this film being an easy target and pinning things on director S.J Clarkson unfairly and I never once intended for this review to be an inditement of her work, because although there is very little work on display, if any, for one to commend, I do believe this is beyond her fault and a larger studio issue. Sony’s recent bevy of Spiderman adjacent films have truly been some of the worst and most enjoyable films of the recent superhero era, with the second Venom film a sole outlier as a film I feel of actual quality that understands the hand it has been forced to play. However Madame Web is such a curious object with such little graspable reasoning as to why it was made so poorly and with so little care it seems at times that one wonders why this film wasn’t written off, I mean this film wreaks of studio interference and a defeatist final creation. With a script that goes beyond illogical and is built around a prequel buildup that comes to nothing and is by the end a feature length after credits stinger for future releases that of course will never come. For as much as I don’t think the film is Clarkson’s fault, the direction here is atrocious with no cohesion and little to no level of visual craft – However, again, I state… this was a lot more fun than so much of the recent tripe we have been fed. The array of bizarre choices, the array of technical errors, the shoddy CGI mixed with lame practical effects, the overwhelming abundance of product placement that even bleeds into the film’s finale as a driving force, the ensemble of great actors all attempting their best, the contractual lack of being able to say Peter Parker’s name reaching new comedic heights, all topped off by the worst choice of all with the handling of Tahir Rahim’s villain character. Not only is the villain plot wholly illogical and rather stupid but the entirety of his performance is ADR’d and recorded after the fact with the majority of his scenes under a mask or shot experimentally with us never seeing the actor’s mouth. It’s the sort of novelty that takes this film to new heights of ‘so bad it’s good’.
But beyond
Rahim’s disastrous turn we do have two other performances that are of note, for
I feel not the reasons that have been brought up thus far. Sydney Sweeney is
actually pretty good in this movie and is actually given a few actually funny
lines and I’m being wholly serious. It’s a type of role that we haven’t seen
her portray before and frankly I thought she was very good and was funnier here
than in the actual major release comedy she was just in – not better, but
funnier. But this is Dakota’s movie and it may very well be the most
fascinating performance of the year. How does an actor manage to still offer an
enjoyable performance whilst the whole time highlighting her complete distaste
for the material and her feeling of being trapped in a sinking ship? It’s not
winking at the expense of the film, it at times even feels wholly intentional
on a subterranean level of what she’s doing. It’s bizarre to say the least, but
I dare say that I think’s it all on purpose. This film really does have no
right to be this entertaining and it is certainly not because of its quality,
but this is a terribly enjoyable film that I can’t wait to watch with friends
with a glass of wine, which I shall note will be the first time I have
rewatched a superhero movie since The Dark Knight Rises.
A 1/10 that I couldn’t recommend more to be honest. I was never bored and I have been bored so desperately by these torrid superhero movies prior, and they are legion. I was sat alone in an IMAX screening with an elderly man very loudly snoring behind me and I had my popcorn and drink and had the time of my life. It’s incredibly entertaining for all the wrong reasons and in the midst of it all you have Sweeney doing an honestly great job as something we’ve never seen her do before and Johnson comes out best of all managing to even within the film deliver a knowing, winking comedic performance that never once shows its hand too much, with a final reveal of sorts that isn’t funny on paper but might be the funniest final image of a recent film that I have seen.
P.S. If there has ever been a time to get Johnson into a comedy it is now and frankly it has always been ‘now’ but that’s another matter. Somebody write a comedy for her about an actress struggling through a press campaign of a big budget disaster. Please. I’ll write it. Please let me write it, please let me be in the industry, please let me make movies. What was I saying to begin with?
- - Thomas Carruthers
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